For some women, this is not an easy task so I say start small in embracing your inner fearless spirit.
Twenty years ago, I would never consider speaking up about my true feelings at work, at home, with family or friends. Deep down I was, and essentially still am, a shy person. I kept quiet because I didn’t want to rock the boat, didn’t want to upset anyone and didn’t want to deal with the conflict and drama that might arise. There came a time in my life (one that synced with embracing my sensuality and sexuality) when this all changed (you can read about that here).
The fear of speaking up had been conditioned in me since a small child and very hard for me to overcome, so I decided to start small. Instead of speaking up about the negatives I decided to speak up about the positives. For instance, when out shopping if I received excellent customer service I would tell that person specifically what made the experience great.
I revelled in the joyous responses that I received and realised that not many people hear praise!! What a shame! We should be all giving realistic praise to those who serve us!
For quite a few years it became my mission to deliver sincere and genuine praise whenever the opportunity arose. I had to get over my feelings of shyness and feeling 'schtoopid for speaking up', I realise now that this helped develop my interpersonal and communication skills which in turn developed my ability to speak up and be fearless tackling issues in a constructive manner.
It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen! Look at me now being fearless talking all about SEX!! I even have a podcast!
1. Embrace your sexuality and sensuality as you will discover an energy resource that springs from being liberated.
It’s the basis of my ‘I don’t give a fuck what other people think about me’.
2. There are two things in life that will change you, the books you read and the people you meet. So READ and get out there to talk to others!
My recommendations: Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott; anything by Joan Price, Betty Dodson...just to get you started.
4. Follow strong women.
A few of my favourite, Australian women who I admire and take courage and inspiration from are:
Cyndi Darnell, Isiah McKimmie and Richelle Menzies (all Sexologists)
Jules Brook and Kate Toon (world of PR and copywriting)
Elanya van Heerden (editor Health Wisdom Magazine)
Jenni Eyles owner of fashion store Neon Cherry
....and many more gutsy women doing what they do.
5. Surround yourself with the right people who will help you develop your greatest potential.
Stay away from negative people, they will suck the energy out of you. Have friends who will tell you what you NEED to hear, not what they think you WANT to hear!
6. Strive to develop your self-awareness, it truly is the key to opening yourself up for new and exciting adventures in life. Ask for feedback about how you interact with others (this goes the same in the bedroom too).
You need to be aware of what makes you tick as your social and emotional intelligence are significant factors that will influence every facet of your life.
7. Always trust your gut instincts.
The more you listen and act on your instincts the more powerful it will become. It will never fail you.
8. Gift yourself the power of pleasure and MASTURBATE (that word everyone loves to hate). It is the greatest kindness you can gift yourself and is very restorative in the process.
You do NOT need permission to masturbate. There is no shame. All you need is a safe and sacred place to worship you.
Our future selves and the future World
Equality for all involves many elements, some of which you will never have control over but don't let that stop you from adding your voice to the collective. We are stronger when we stand together!
You do however have control over your own beliefs, values and actions so make a difference to your life by strengthening your ability to be fearless and helping those around you to discover theirs.
If you’re a woman reading this and it resonates with you, please feel free to reach out and connect with our community, The Spicy Boudoir Collective. There you can speak freely about all things related to sexuality and you will receive no judgment. If you identify as a male, you are welcome to join the Collective as well. I also urge you to please reach out to the womenfolk in your circle of connections, check in with them that they are okay. Have a conversation with them about being equal for all. Keep your mind and heart open to truly listen and where needed, act if they need help. International Women's Day is for all of us, every day.
When you own and know your sexuality you begin a journey of transformation. If you are on the verge of exploring your sexuality and need help navigating pleasure products, information about STIs, would like to talk about online dating in Australia or just simply want to speak with someone who has walked a similar journey then please reach out via the contact links on the website www.thespicyboudoir.com
If you have never experienced an orgasm PLEASE get in touch. I may not be able to speak directly with you but I can help put you on the pathway to knowing your body.
I hope wherever you are in life that you are safe, happy and healthy. If not, please seek help today.
Sending Universal love and light to all.
Image credit Chris Holthof (Shutterstock)