We are OPEN!  Enjoy 10% COVID discount on orders over $150 + FREE shipping on orders over$100 + Discreet Billing & Delivery

Skip to main content
The Spicy Boudoir
0
  • Home
  • About Us
    • Who is The Maven?
    • We Recommend...
  • Shop
    • For people over 50
    • Living with disability
    • For Couples
    • BDSM
    • Sensory Play
    • Lingerie
  • Our Philosophy
  • Podcast + Blogs
  • Say Hello
  • Coaching
The Spicy Boudoir
0
Cart0
  • Home
  • About Us
    • Who is The Maven?
    • We Recommend...
  • Shop
    • For people over 50
    • Living with disability
    • For Couples
    • BDSM
    • Sensory Play
    • Lingerie
  • Our Philosophy
  • Podcast + Blogs
  • Say Hello
  • Coaching
oi
oi

 

 

If You Have Never Owned a Vibrator You Need To Read This Now!

 

I will never forget the first time I used a vibrator. It literally changed my life, not overnight I must add, however the decision

to use one subconsciously placed me on a path of self-discovery and reconnection to my inner self and a whole new life.

 

Let’s step back to 2002. I was 35, had been married for 11 years to a man who was a good person but was someone whose sexuality was greatly inhibited. I have to say that mine was as well (to a degree) but when your partner does not understand the value of intimate contact as the connecting force between two people then life can become jaded, stale and very lonely.

I’m not talking about the desire to have sex or wanting frequent sex, I’m talking about the simple act of giving affection. In this marriage there was no hugging, no hand holding, certainly no foot rubs and definitely no kissing. I had tried these in the beginning but was told ‘There is a time and a place for that sort of thing and it’s in the bedroom’.  

My husband’s invitation to be sexually intimate was very simple and downright cringeworthy. I would be in the lounge room watching television; he would head off to bed and stop beside me, then place his hand on my shoulder and ask, “Will I get a towel?” I kid you not. Hmm.

God, I was so incredibly lonely and unhappy. Enter the vibrator (pun intended).

One evening I was talking with a friend about my marriage and bemoaning the lack of a decent sex life and the subject turned to sex toys, she asked me “Had I ever used a vibrator?” NO, I had not!  Her response was a shocked: “WHAT?!  Come on!”

So, we jumped in the car and like a pair of silly, giggling girls went into an adult store and I was gobsmacked at what I saw. I felt like so naïve. There were plastic butts, plastic vulvas, masturbation sleeves, lubes, anal plugs, you name it. The store felt pretty tacky and sleazy, I can’t say I enjoyed the experience. I saw a dildo that looked like a ginormous penis – anatomically correct for everything except for its size and hairless testicles! No way was I going to put that in my fanny, crikey! My eyes nearly popped out of my head! Yes, I’d had a child but no way was that going to fit in my box.

In the end, I settled for a jelly-like dildo that looked like a penis except it was pink and had glitter through it (I can assure you my tastes have improved!).  Ummm….yes, well, I went home sans girlfriend and took that pink glittery thing for a twirl on the orgasm dance floor (more than once! That’s a whole other blog!).  OMG!

Now that I am older and much more sexually seasoned, when I reflect on that experience I realise it wasn’t the dildo itself that was responsible for my orgasms. It was more the feelings of self-empowerment that shifted my mindset and freed my sexuality from its chains of inhibition. Once I had freed myself I truly owned my orgasm and for the first time in my life I learned to listen to my body.

After that, it was not long before I then moved into the spare room for three years of celibacy until I ended the marriage in 2005 (that’s a whole other blog too). By that time the pink dildo was long gone and I had upgraded my collection to a big vibrator (I discovered my box is like a Tardis*).

The moral of the story:

If you have never used a vibrator before – no matter your age or physical ability – give it a go!

 

If you have feelings of shame or embarrassment who is going to know unless you tell them? Everyone deserves sexual pleasure. Your body was created by Nature equipped with the tools for pleasure: your hands, your skin, your clitoris, your G-spot and your mind.   

Your personal empowerment is realised by making the decision to be true to yourself and allowing yourself to explore your sexuality. Own, and know, your orgasm.

Please…PLEASE…do not be lying on your deathbed wishing that you had tried a vibrator before you died.

If you don’t know where to start or how to choose the right product please reach out to me. There is no 'best vibrator for women over 50', that's just a marketing spin. It's more about choosing a product that suits your needs. My advice is to start slow, choose a smaller sized vibrator or dildo or perhaps just a clitoral massager and go from there. 

I am your Maven (aka wise woman) and I am here to share my sexual wisdom at no cost to you. I am happy to speak to you personally by phone or video chat and if you live in the Brisbane area we could arrange to meet in person for a woman to woman chat. If you are a carer for someone with a disability and feeling unsure of who to talk to, please get in touch and I will help you find the right people to speak with.

In the meantime, you can connect with me via our Collective. It is free to join and we don’t overwhelm you with spam. The Spicy Boudoir Collective will keep you up to date with new products, information and education, special discounts and you’ll be first to know when I am speaking live to the group or hosting an event.

Private Facebook Group: The Spicy Boudoir Collective

Vive les orgasmes !

 

 

 

My current favourite pleasure product is the Queen by Zalo - it has pulsing and vibration modes and is exquisite! The sleeve attachment converts the sensation into 'suckling' which is fantastic on the clitoris and nipples.

*The TARDIS (/ˈtɑːrdɪs/; "Time And Relative Dimension In Space") is a fictional time machine and spacecraft that appears in the British science fiction television series Doctor Who.

Edit: And of course the whole concept of trying your first pleasure toy applies to men as well. If you have never used a device to enhance your pleasure I suggest trying a cock ring with vibration. It will take your lovemaking to the next level of shared vibration and/or indulge your senses when honouring your manhood  Atom Plus by Hot Octopuss - take your pleasure up a notch.

 

>

 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Leave a Comment?

Comments have to be approved before showing up



Join our Collective so that you are in the know for exclusive product offerings, discounts and special events.


We’re igniting conversations about sex and pleasure for every body, and bringing you the best selection of pleasureprone products.

We don't plan to bombard you constantly, maybe once or twice a fortnight, we know you have a life to live and enjoy!

Pssst...if you would like to join our private Facebook forum, The Spicy Boudoir Collective, for a more in depth conversation about life, sex, love and everything in between then click here.

SHOPPING MADE EASY

  • PayPal Express
  • American Express
  • MasterCard
  • Visa

Payment, Returns & Refunds

Discreet Packaging & Shipping

MORE INFO

MORE INFO

  • Bodysafe Sex Toys
  • How to Clean Your Sex Toys
  • FAQs

CONNECT

We value honesty, openness and fun.

Connect with us, join the conversation, and be sure to provide your feedback - good or bad. We welcome all voices and every body.

  • #TheSpicyBoudoir #SexAndDisability #AgeingGracefully

Copyright © 2023 The Spicy Boudoir All rights reserved. Ecommerce powered by Donohue Consultancy
Terms and Conditions        Privacy
We acknowledge the sovereignty and ownership of traditional custodial owners of all the first nations on whose land we live and work and we acknowledge both the past and present first peoples, their elders, languages, customs, culture and connection to this grand and wonderful country.

Terms & Conditions

Welcome to our website. If you continue to browse and use this website, you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by the following terms and conditions of use, which together with our privacy policy govern The Spicy Boudoir’s relationship with you in relation to this website. If you disagree with any part of these terms and conditions, please do not use our website.

The term ‘The Spicy Boudoir’ or ‘us’ or ‘we’ refers to the owner of the website whose registered office is PO BOX 499, ANNERLEY, QLD, 4103, AU. Our ABN is 36627738247. The term ‘you’ refers to the user or viewer of our website.

The use of this website is subject to the following terms of use:

  • The content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice.
  • Neither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law.
  • Your use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements.
  • This website contains material which is owned by or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.
  • All trademarks reproduced in this website, which are not the property of, or licensed to the operator, are acknowledged on the website.
  • Unauthorised use of this website may give rise to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offence.
  • From time to time, this website may also include links to other websites and We (The Spicy Boudoir) may earn a referral commission from our partners and affiliates. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further access to education, resources and information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).
  • Your use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of Australia.

Change of Mind

Unlike shopping for a new dress or shirt where it’s easy to exchange or refund goods, the purchase of a pleasure device makes it very difficult to process returns.

Our Maven understands that sometimes what a product looks like on screen isn’t quite what is expected on the box when it arrives. If this is the case, please do not open the packaging. Instead, you must notify The Spicy Boudoir within three days of receipt of the product by writing to: hello@thespicyboudoir.com with ‘Change of mind return’ in the subject line.  Please note that the costs of return and resending delivery costs are borne by the customer.

Please provide your contact details and a team member will call you to discuss the options available to you. Change of mind requests outside the three day timeframe cannot be accepted.*

Options available:

  • Return for exchange of similar product or products to equal value (depending on availability)

  • Return for store credit

  • Return for refund of product purchase*

Opened items

For the sake of customer health and wellbeing, as well as our integrity, we have a strict policy regarding products that have been opened:

We are not able to accept any returns on products that have been opened.

Please understand we have this policy in place to protect you, our customer.

Privacy Policy

This privacy policy sets out how we uses and protects any information that you give us when you use this website.

We are committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.

We may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. You should check this page from time to time to ensure that you are happy with any changes.

What we collect

We may collect the following information:

  • name and job title
  • contact information including email address
  • demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests
  • other information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers

What we do with the information we gather

We require this information to understand your needs and provide you with a better service, and in particular for the following reasons:

  • Internal record keeping.
  • We may use the information to improve our products and services.
  • We may periodically send promotional emails about new products, special offers or other information which we think you may find interesting using the email address which you have provided.
  • From time to time, we may also use your information to contact you for market research purposes. We may contact you by email, phone, fax or mail. We may use the information to customise the website according to your interests.

Security

We are committed to ensuring that your information is secure. In order to prevent unauthorised access or disclosure, we have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.

How we use cookies

A cookie is a small file which asks permission to be placed on your computer's hard drive. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie helps analyse web traffic or lets you know when you visit a particular site. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to your needs, likes and dislikes by gathering and remembering information about your preferences.

We use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps us analyse data about webpage traffic and improve our website in order to tailor it to customer needs. We only use this information for statistical analysis purposes and then the data is removed from the system.
Overall, cookies help us provide you with a better website by enabling us to monitor which pages you find useful and which you do not. A cookie in no way gives us access to your computer or any information about you, other than the data you choose to share with us.
You can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. This may prevent you from taking full advantage of the website.

Links to other websites

Our website may contain links to other websites of interest. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website. Therefore, we cannot be responsible for the protection and privacy of any information which you provide whilst visiting such sites and such sites are not governed by this privacy statement. You should exercise caution and look at the privacy statement applicable to the website in question.

Controlling your personal information

You may choose to restrict the collection or use of your personal information in the following ways:

  • whenever you are asked to fill in a form on the website, look for the box that you can click to indicate that you do not want the information to be used by anybody for direct marketing purposes
  • if you have previously agreed to us using your personal information for direct marketing purposes, you may change your mind at any time by writing to or emailing us.

We will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law to do so. We may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting if you tell us that you wish this to happen.

If you believe that any information we are holding on you is incorrect or incomplete, please write to or email us as soon as possible at the above address. We will promptly correct any information found to be incorrect.

// //